A Golden State of Mind
If you’re reading this then you da bestest and I appreciate you taking your time to follow along with me! I’m writing this post as I am currently on a plane headed to Sunny California. I’ve been multiple times so it’s nothing new for me, but you shouldn’t be jealous, because today The Golden State isn't so golden.
In the past, I’ve ventured to this gorgeous state for work or play, but today I visit for a reason that isn’t so fun. Today is the day I head out to visit my brother before he leaves for his first deployment. Sure I can “rest easy” because he’s going to a “safe” place for his first tour, but all the feelings of anxiety, sadness, happiness, and everything else are swarming over me and I’m not sure how to deal with it other than write about it. So, here I am on the plane writing to you guys in hopes that maybe y’all can relate to my life, yet again.
Not only is my mind racing, but of all days, today is a day where my husband wasn’t able to fly with me due to work reasons. If you know me personally then you know I have a fear of flying and you can bet money that my anxiety is absolutely out of the roof right now.
But that’s enough complaining…let’s take a tour down memory lane. I never really thought that this day would come, and truth is, I chose to think that way. When the three of us kids were growing up I vividly remember my brother always talking about how he wanted to become a Marine. He was twelve years old when he started talking about this journey. At first I thought it was just a phase that would wear off but as each year passed he continued to talk of his dream of being a Marine.
When his senior year of high school finally came around mom and dad were open to the fact of him signing up for the Marines. I, however, was hesitant. I was very well aware of the outcomes of being in the military as far as the negative after effects of it. Sure there are a lot of positive things but it isn’t what I wanted for my brother and I just couldn’t jump on the support bandwagon right away.
Honestly, I was surprised how on board my parents were and when I asked my mom “How can you just let him do this? How can you just be so cool about it?” Her response was, “We’ve always let you kids make decisions for yourself and have always been supportive no matter what you have done. This is his time to decide and we will support him no matter how hard it will be.” (WOW – if this doesn’t just hit you in the gut with how great a parents love is then you have no soul, nor do you really understand what selflessness is.) After that conversation with my mom I slowly began to understand what she meant.
I was there the day he signed up for the Marines and I balled my eyes out, but I was there to support him, even if I didn’t want him to make that decision. He then left for boot camp and we had no communication with him for three months. A letter was sent and received here and there but that was it. Since boot camp has taken place it hasn’t been too emotional of a ride but it doesn’t mean it’s been easy for me, much less my parents. We’ve seen him three times (?) since then and we’ll see him again for the next few days until he heads out. We’ve got some fun things planned.
If you’ve read along with my blog then you know I always spin messes into lessons so here are a few things I’ve learned through this journey:
- Not everyone will support the things we want to do in our lives but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t reach for the stars. If my brother would’ve never signed up for the Marines because I didn’t support him at the beginning he would have regretted it for the rest of his life.
- Support the people you love even if you don’t agree with their life choices. We all need support and if someone is going to do something with their life that you disagree with…that’s okay. You don’t get to control everything and everyone so make it easy for both of you and support them simply because you love them. (Clearly I’m talking of supporting positive life choices and goals…not like doing drugs or anything like that.)
- The things we want most in life never come easy, nor do those things happen overnight. In order for my brother to get to this point in his life he endured years of waiting, lots of training, and leaving the Lone Star State, which isn’t easy for a small town country boy like himself, but despite all of this he still followed through.
- And lastly, “Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” Yep, that’s a quote from A Cinderella Story but it holds so much truth to it. The road to achieving our dreams can be scary, but what’s scarier – taking on the challenge or never achieving anything?
Phewww…it feels to get it all out and I’m thankful that you guys even cared to read through all of this. If you’ve been through or are going through a similar situation I’d love to hear more from you. Leave a comment below and let’s chat!
On a side not, the road ahead is so uncertain for all of us, so if you have any words of advice or could spare a few minutes to say a prayer for us we’d appreciate it!
Enjoy your week and until next time…cheers, friends!