I'm Pregnant And I Feel Guilty

Today, I want to share something really personal with you that I think many women will be able to connect with. It’s a challenging conversation that, unfortunately, many of us must face. It doesn’t matter what side you’re on, because it brings guilt, pain, and hurt to everyone involved. In case you haven’t caught on just yet, I’m referring to you (or a friend) finding out one of you is pregnant while the other one has had difficulty with becoming pregnant.

When I found out I was expecting, I had a rush of guilt come over me because I knew of at least four women who were having issues trying to conceive. Each of these women have such pure hearts and deserve the world, and they certainly do not deserve the heartache they are going through! The amount of guilt I had when thinking of how I would break the news to them was all-consuming. I honestly wasn’t even sure if I should tell them.

I had quite a few people tell me things like “It’s not your fault.” “You can’t compare your life journey to someone else’s”. It just really irked my nerves the more people tried to reassure me things would be okay for these sweet friends of mine. I think it bothered me because these friends of mine have confided in me with their struggles, and every time they talk about having a baby I can see the pain in their eyes, but somehow I’m supposed to overlook that and assume they’ll be happy for me because I’m the “lucky one”?! No way, man. I just couldn’t do it.

When it came down to the moment of sharing the news with these sweet friends, I did my best not to be too “loud and proud” about it because I truly wanted to be mindful of their feelings. There is no way I can understand how they feel, but I can be respectful of their feelings. If you are currently in this position, I think the best way to go about things is to share the news, but don’t get too caught up in the details unless said friend genuinely ask questions.

At the end of the day, there isn’t a rule book that tells us how to handle these difficult situations, but when we do, let’s remember that even though we can’t control our situations we can control our responses. I firmly believe that if we can respect one another, and if we can celebrate the good and bad times together, that is when we all come out on top. If I can give one piece of advice to those who are in this position, whether you are on the hurting or happy side, it would be to pray. Pray for your hurting friend to have patience, understanding, comfort, and that this journey with her husband strengthens their relationship. Pray for your friend to have a healthy and safe pregnancy. Just pray that it will all happen in His timing, and I promise that whatever God has in store for each of you will come to fruition.